Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a series of daily battles. It often starts at wake up call. It doesn't matter if it is 7am or noon unless wakes up on own terms. If the alarm or I wake her up it is immediate irritation of why do I have to get up or I don't want to get up. More as in if you want me to get up , I'm not doing it. Children who suffer from O.D.D are easily annoyed, frustrated, resentful, hostile with adults, bossy, and pushy with other kids. They do not take responsibility for any of their actions and make excuses and lies often.
Most children are defiant when tired, hungry, or even stressed. An O.D.D child it's ongoing daily. Excessive arguing, questions every rule, mean and hateful, and quite an attitude.
Most of the time it is very difficult as a parent to control the situation. It is a constant power struggle between parent and child. O.D.D. children posses a strong need to control their environment and every situation. I often must surrender my authority in order to keep the situation under control. I have learned over the past 13 years that I must pick and choose my battles. It's also important to have strategies for avoiding conflict. As a parent it is very frustrating and extremely tiresome. However, I always have to remember this is not about me. If I'm tired, wore down, and stressed how must she feel. She is the one struggling daily to find her place in this crazy world and trying to fit in while experiencing such an evil disorder. It often triggers anxiety, which causes her physical pain as well. At any given time depending on the situation at hand she experiences mood swings, stomach pain, head aches, insomnia, and fatigue.
Her surrounding evnvironment is very important to her behavior. After many years of working with teachers, psychologist, and guidance counselors it is important to keep her social life at a minimum at school. Modified days and small class rooms seem to help control the situation. At any given time she can have a disturbing outburst depending on what someone may say to her. Especially if it is from an authority figure.
She struggles a lot more than most children or teenager. However, I am optimistic. I know her better than anyone and I know she will get through this difficult time in her life. As she grows older and continues with therapy she will find ways to come out ahead. Audrey is going to do great things some day. She is very loving, talented, and a very hard worker once she gets through her daily struggles. I have no doubt she will be an awesome 30 year old with the amount of determination she has inside her.
As for me, I will be ok. Sleep is over rated. I can handle the critism from other parents. When others say "I don't know how you deal everyday." My new response will be. It's simple she's my child whom I love unconditionally and I am fine. Please pray for her to cope not me :-)
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